I've found my mojo again!

Yes, its been a while since I blogged, mainly because I was totally in a funk and could not fight my way out of it.  I weighed in a week ago and I had put on weight. First I was so totally impressed at my 6 month weigh in because I was 71.5kg and then I decided to go sabotage myself and eat crap food, and put on over 2kg in about 9 days.

So after talking to a wonderful, inspirational friend, we got chatting about how I can't seem to get my mindset back to what it was when I first started losing weight, and she agreed that I'm not going to find it again, because I'm not the same person.  WELL!  That totally made sense to me, and explains why I kept going around in circles and changing up my diet plan, and then changing it again and again, and I couldn't stick to anything - I felt like I was drowning and I couldn't save myself.

So now, in the last few days, I'm getting it back again - the mindset to get FIT (and not just to lose weight).  When I started losing weight it was all about the weight loss, everything I did was dictated by how much weight I had lost, and how much I wanted to lose, and how much I had left to lose.  I always said that I didn't want to look like this:




I wanted to look like this:



I want to be buff, and have people comment "wow, she looks fit" instead of those negative people that say "oh wow, she's sooo skinny" - you know the ones?  People are always going to talk about people, and make comments, and I know I can't control that, but I would like them to be saying the "Fit" comments most of all.

SO!  I've gained a few kilos, but gained some perspective and some mojo, which was so worth it.  I wrote up another plan the other day, and I'm going to revise it tonight and take out the chocolate and treats and stuff I had in there. I don't need them, I've proven to myself that I don't need chocolate to live a good healthy life.  So I'm dissing that and maybe adding some more berries or something haha.

Thats my plan.  Plus I'm starting swimming as from tomorrow.  Someone told me today that I should do triathlons with them, and I was like - wtf?!  No way man, I CANNOT do that - my hip, my knee - argh, its just not doable.

Then I was like, dude, hang on.  I've gotta stop making excuses and start doing shit. I want an athletes body, and I've trimmed a lot of fat off already, so maybe I should just give myself some bloody credit and TRY some of this stuff.  So I'm not going to do it immediately of course (I don't want to give myself a heart attack) but I am going to start swimming first, and also try and get my back issues worked out (back will fix hip, and will fix knee) and then I'm going to start making myself into the person that I see myself wanting to be.

I will do this.  Slowly but surely I will get there.

But of course I had to get maccas out of the way for dinner tonight and finish the chocolate in the fridge.  Priorities right?