So I've been VERY relaxed with my eating over the xmas period (and a bit before that to be completely honest) so I've decided that I am setting myself a new challenge and I am going to complete it. I know I've said that a lot, and I know my lovely husband doesn't really have any faith in me, but I am going to complete it.
I've already started preparing for Paleo life, got my choc mint balls to snack on if I feel like something sweet, made almond milk this morning with my new nut milk bag I got for xmas, and I'm testing a new breakfast cereal tomorrow to see if I like it to add to my other options for breakfast (can't eat eggs all the time!)
I've got a referral to get my bloods taken as well, so I was planning on doing that and then going back at the end of 112 days and getting them retested.
Why 112 days? Well, it takes me to the 23rd April - when I started this whole weight loss "journey". So it seemed fitting that I take it to my anniversary of weight loss, and hopefully will be 65kg then. Eventually I want to get down to 60kg, I think thats pretty realistic.
So that starts on 1st January. Now I have to go finish off my homemade pizza, garlic bread and beer. Cos you know, I'm going without for 112 days....
Saturday 29 December 2012
Friday 14 December 2012
Day 5
First day of school holidays!
Had oats for breakfast as normal, with blueberries and raspberries. So nice!
Morning tea: I was so very tempted to have one of the kids fruit bars, but knowing me and my habit of not being able to stop at just one - I had one of their rice crackers, and then had two plain ryvitas instead. My body will thank me for this, I'm sure.
Lunch: Two scrambled eggs on a thick piece of wholemeal bread (toasted). Nothing added except for salt. No oil in the pan, no milk in the eggs, no butter on the bread.
Afternoon tea: A few dry ryvitas and some raw brownie. Found the recipe online HERE and of course I had to test it! Yummo, although I think it has a touch too much salt, just in case anyone reads this and wants to make it - halve the salt. And this is coming from someone who adores salt.
Dinner: Spaghetti bog tonight but with zoodles instead of spaghetti or pasta.
After dinner: We made ice cream based on THIS recipe, except I didn't want to put nuts in it, so I just used frozen banana and then thought I would use dates instead of nuts, and that kills two birds with one stone, then I don't need the sweetener if I use dates! My dates are kept in the fridge so now I have banana chocolate ice cream with pieces of super chewy fudgy dates throughout it. Definitely a treat! And super healthy and YUM!
Oh and I also had a few low fat biscuits with my tea ;) And I could have had another brownie. Whoops.
Had oats for breakfast as normal, with blueberries and raspberries. So nice!
Morning tea: I was so very tempted to have one of the kids fruit bars, but knowing me and my habit of not being able to stop at just one - I had one of their rice crackers, and then had two plain ryvitas instead. My body will thank me for this, I'm sure.
Lunch: Two scrambled eggs on a thick piece of wholemeal bread (toasted). Nothing added except for salt. No oil in the pan, no milk in the eggs, no butter on the bread.
Afternoon tea: A few dry ryvitas and some raw brownie. Found the recipe online HERE and of course I had to test it! Yummo, although I think it has a touch too much salt, just in case anyone reads this and wants to make it - halve the salt. And this is coming from someone who adores salt.
Dinner: Spaghetti bog tonight but with zoodles instead of spaghetti or pasta.
After dinner: We made ice cream based on THIS recipe, except I didn't want to put nuts in it, so I just used frozen banana and then thought I would use dates instead of nuts, and that kills two birds with one stone, then I don't need the sweetener if I use dates! My dates are kept in the fridge so now I have banana chocolate ice cream with pieces of super chewy fudgy dates throughout it. Definitely a treat! And super healthy and YUM!
Oh and I also had a few low fat biscuits with my tea ;) And I could have had another brownie. Whoops.
Thursday 13 December 2012
Day four
Day 4, Sparrow's last day of term so it probably won't be great eating since I have to go to his xmas party.
Breakfast: I had some grain free cereal left over from my paleo days so I had that and some low fat yoghurt. Then I looked at the ingredients of the yoghurt after eating it and realised it has some pretty nasty shit in it, so now I'll be looking for a better yoghurt to eat.
Morning tea: Had a small handful of grapes, a few slices of watermelon and ryvitas with hommus.
Lunch: Went to Sparrow's school but DIDN'T have anything that was on offer, no matter how nice the cupcakes/cakes/sausage rolls looked - I didn't eat a thing. So I came home after the school concert and made myself some wholemeal toast with tuna (and a bit of mayo) and spinach between them.
Afternoon tea: Apple. And some grapes while putting kids to bed and preparing dinner.
Dinner: Pork steak things and lots of vegies (sweet potato, pumpkin, carrots, beans and broccoli)
After dinner: Fruit & Yoghurt ice cream and some sweet biscuits with my nightly tea.
Coffee intake: 3
Tea intake: 2
Water intake: Just over 1L I think!
Still no exercise. Grr.
Breakfast: I had some grain free cereal left over from my paleo days so I had that and some low fat yoghurt. Then I looked at the ingredients of the yoghurt after eating it and realised it has some pretty nasty shit in it, so now I'll be looking for a better yoghurt to eat.
Morning tea: Had a small handful of grapes, a few slices of watermelon and ryvitas with hommus.
Lunch: Went to Sparrow's school but DIDN'T have anything that was on offer, no matter how nice the cupcakes/cakes/sausage rolls looked - I didn't eat a thing. So I came home after the school concert and made myself some wholemeal toast with tuna (and a bit of mayo) and spinach between them.
Afternoon tea: Apple. And some grapes while putting kids to bed and preparing dinner.
Dinner: Pork steak things and lots of vegies (sweet potato, pumpkin, carrots, beans and broccoli)
After dinner: Fruit & Yoghurt ice cream and some sweet biscuits with my nightly tea.
Coffee intake: 3
Tea intake: 2
Water intake: Just over 1L I think!
Still no exercise. Grr.
Wednesday 12 December 2012
Day three
Bubbles was feeding like a newborn last night, so I'm pretty tired again today, but really thats nothing unusual! As tired as I am, thats still no excuse to feed my body bad food. (Even though I would really love some!)
Breakfast: Oats. Except I threw in some frozen raspberries with the frozen blueberries to soak with the oats and it was so YUM!! So I had raspberries instead of strawberries - still with coconut, linseeds and sunflower seeds (banana and honey as well).
Morning tea: Even though I was super proud of myself for getting through shopping (both Aldi and Woolworths) with the three girls, I didn't indulge in any of the marshmallows I got for them for being so good. Instead I had a handful of cherries (on spesh this week at woolies!) and then when I got home, had my hommus on ryvitas again.
Lunch: Sardines on toast. One of my most favourite lunches I think!
Afternoon tea: A cherry, banana and a nectarine (and more cherries before putting the kids to bed just cos they are so freaking yummy)
Tea: Pork San Choy Bau (or in other words, Savoury pork in lettuce cups) - one of my favourite meals, so freakin yum!!!
After dinner: Fruit and yoghurt ice cream, and a couple of low calorie biscuits with my tea.
Water intake: around a litre...ish...
Coffee intake: 3
Tea intake: 2
Bring on day 4! I CAN do this.
Breakfast: Oats. Except I threw in some frozen raspberries with the frozen blueberries to soak with the oats and it was so YUM!! So I had raspberries instead of strawberries - still with coconut, linseeds and sunflower seeds (banana and honey as well).
Morning tea: Even though I was super proud of myself for getting through shopping (both Aldi and Woolworths) with the three girls, I didn't indulge in any of the marshmallows I got for them for being so good. Instead I had a handful of cherries (on spesh this week at woolies!) and then when I got home, had my hommus on ryvitas again.
Lunch: Sardines on toast. One of my most favourite lunches I think!
Afternoon tea: A cherry, banana and a nectarine (and more cherries before putting the kids to bed just cos they are so freaking yummy)
Tea: Pork San Choy Bau (or in other words, Savoury pork in lettuce cups) - one of my favourite meals, so freakin yum!!!
After dinner: Fruit and yoghurt ice cream, and a couple of low calorie biscuits with my tea.
Water intake: around a litre...ish...
Coffee intake: 3
Tea intake: 2
Bring on day 4! I CAN do this.
Tuesday 11 December 2012
Day two
Ok had a shit night last night, just couldn't sleep, plus a few feeds from Bubbles - so I'm pretty tired. Determined to do well today though.
Had oats again for breakfast. Same as yesterday, just because its pretty darn yummy and with all the seeds and stuff, its a great start to the day.
Morning tea - two ryvita crackers with a light spreading of hommus and a boiled egg on top. Pretty nice actually! Plus the protein from the egg will help keep me fuller for longer :)
Lunch - another salad (still no meat, and I forgot to get some chicken out to thaw) so I had lettuce, pumpkin, beans, small handful of cashews, small sprinkling of cheese and a small handful of grapes. Interesting combination, but I liked it! I like just coming up with "interesting" combinations, keeps things different lol
Afternoon tea - apple (pink lady - my favourite!)
Dinner - pizza - however ours was on a pita bread, with homemade pizza sauce made in the thermomix (couple of cloves of garlic, a red onion and some tomatoes blitzed), with green capsicum, radishes, an egg and a light sprinkling of cheese. Elf Man had the added bonus of pepitas and cranberries on his (freak that he is!!) It probably sounds gross but it was really quite nice.
After dinner - a cup of tea and some ryvitas (better than sweet biscuits right!?)
Water intake: Around 1L - not a lot, but better than nothing (which is normal for me...)
Tea intake: 2 (one when the kids were eating their pizza for dinner, and one before bed!)
Coffee intake: 3 (one for stumbling out of bed at 5am, one at morning tea, one after lunch)
No exercise today. I had all intentions of going out and going for a walk. However - I was out the door when I realised I had someone coming around to buy a bed and I had to clean down the bed, so I did that instead. Then found out after I done it that they weren't coming any more *insert lots of swear words here* By that time, Bubbles was overdue for her nap, so I put her down instead because it looked like it was going to rain anyway. There is always tomorrow.
Had oats again for breakfast. Same as yesterday, just because its pretty darn yummy and with all the seeds and stuff, its a great start to the day.
Morning tea - two ryvita crackers with a light spreading of hommus and a boiled egg on top. Pretty nice actually! Plus the protein from the egg will help keep me fuller for longer :)
Lunch - another salad (still no meat, and I forgot to get some chicken out to thaw) so I had lettuce, pumpkin, beans, small handful of cashews, small sprinkling of cheese and a small handful of grapes. Interesting combination, but I liked it! I like just coming up with "interesting" combinations, keeps things different lol
Afternoon tea - apple (pink lady - my favourite!)
Dinner - pizza - however ours was on a pita bread, with homemade pizza sauce made in the thermomix (couple of cloves of garlic, a red onion and some tomatoes blitzed), with green capsicum, radishes, an egg and a light sprinkling of cheese. Elf Man had the added bonus of pepitas and cranberries on his (freak that he is!!) It probably sounds gross but it was really quite nice.
After dinner - a cup of tea and some ryvitas (better than sweet biscuits right!?)
Water intake: Around 1L - not a lot, but better than nothing (which is normal for me...)
Tea intake: 2 (one when the kids were eating their pizza for dinner, and one before bed!)
Coffee intake: 3 (one for stumbling out of bed at 5am, one at morning tea, one after lunch)
No exercise today. I had all intentions of going out and going for a walk. However - I was out the door when I realised I had someone coming around to buy a bed and I had to clean down the bed, so I did that instead. Then found out after I done it that they weren't coming any more *insert lots of swear words here* By that time, Bubbles was overdue for her nap, so I put her down instead because it looked like it was going to rain anyway. There is always tomorrow.
Monday 10 December 2012
Day one
So I decided to write my blog every day so as to keep myself on track. I won't bore all my friends and post the link on facebook for them to read, because, well, this is probably going to be bloody boring, and its just for a constant reminder to myself on how to eat well, and that I already KNOW what to do, I just have to STFU and do it.
So today for breakfast I had oats. Normal quick oats, 1/3 cup. Soaked them in some water for about 15 minutes, and then put some blueberries, strawberries, linseeds, shredded coconut, sunflower seeds, half a banana and half a teaspoon of honey on it. Then added some light milk when it was done in the microwave cos it was still a bit sticky. Delicious!
I had a visitor during the morning so I didn't have anything but a cup of coffee (and a slice of apple), until I made her some vegan chocolate mousse (Quirky Cooking recipe) and I had a bit of that as well. Yes, its high in calories, but so good for you!!
Then for lunch, I was tossing up what to have, could have a sandwich with tuna, however Elf Man needed all the tins for his week at prac, and we didn't have any other meat things, so I made a salad. Lettuce, and green capsicum were my starting point. Boiled some eggs up, threw one of that in as well. Then steamed some pumpkin and green beans - threw them in as well. And then I spotted the rest of the apple that was left over on the bench - chucked that in as well. Plus water - to drink, not to float my salad.
Then afternoon tea - some homemade hommus on rye biscuits. I only discovered rye biscuits through the Ashy Bines eating plan, and I was skeptical but they are actually really yummy!
Dinner - beef stirfry - with beans, radishes, carrot, red onion and capsicum. Threw in some lime juice and tamari to flavour. On a bed of cauliflower "rice".
And finished the day with a fruit and yoghurt ice cream (my favourite) and a cup of tea (obviously not consumed at the same time).
Day one over and completed successfully with NO crap food and no craving.
Day two - I'm ready for you!
So today for breakfast I had oats. Normal quick oats, 1/3 cup. Soaked them in some water for about 15 minutes, and then put some blueberries, strawberries, linseeds, shredded coconut, sunflower seeds, half a banana and half a teaspoon of honey on it. Then added some light milk when it was done in the microwave cos it was still a bit sticky. Delicious!
I had a visitor during the morning so I didn't have anything but a cup of coffee (and a slice of apple), until I made her some vegan chocolate mousse (Quirky Cooking recipe) and I had a bit of that as well. Yes, its high in calories, but so good for you!!
Then for lunch, I was tossing up what to have, could have a sandwich with tuna, however Elf Man needed all the tins for his week at prac, and we didn't have any other meat things, so I made a salad. Lettuce, and green capsicum were my starting point. Boiled some eggs up, threw one of that in as well. Then steamed some pumpkin and green beans - threw them in as well. And then I spotted the rest of the apple that was left over on the bench - chucked that in as well. Plus water - to drink, not to float my salad.
Then afternoon tea - some homemade hommus on rye biscuits. I only discovered rye biscuits through the Ashy Bines eating plan, and I was skeptical but they are actually really yummy!
Dinner - beef stirfry - with beans, radishes, carrot, red onion and capsicum. Threw in some lime juice and tamari to flavour. On a bed of cauliflower "rice".
And finished the day with a fruit and yoghurt ice cream (my favourite) and a cup of tea (obviously not consumed at the same time).
Day one over and completed successfully with NO crap food and no craving.
Day two - I'm ready for you!
Sunday 9 December 2012
The ugly cycle of self loathing
So many things have been running through my head about what to write in this blog post tonight. Of course like I always have been, I am going to be completely honest and admit that I have been so completely off the wagon lately that I couldn't even see the wagon. Wasn't next to me, probably in the next country or something with the way that I have been acting.
First up - my excuses. Oh, I've heard myself come out with some great ones. I can't exercise because Elf Man is on prac. Well yes, its true that he leaves at 5.15am and he gets home when I get home from school pick up at 3.30pm. Yes its true that I don't really have time to exercise in the afternoon and evening because we go to bed earlier now. HOWEVER - I could get out there with the girls in the pram and go walking during the day, nothing stopping me except my excuses. Oh and then there is the excuse to eat crap food - I have my period. Weeeeee! That means I get to eat shit food right? Well no, no it doesn't. I didn't eat any crap for 5 months and I know that I had my period at least 5 times......
So I've been eating a LOT of crap. An awful lot. Yesterday I felt so sick in the guts, and I wouldn't (couldn't) even admit to Elf Man how much crap I managed to shove into my gob at my mum's house. Eating in secret is what I do best you see, I've perfected the art of people not knowing what you are grabbing to quickly eat, and excuses are easy to come by, oh I need a drink - better go inside... where are my sunnies?.. better go inside... (handful of food, handful of food...chew quickly...swallow but don't choke...)
Hopefully I'm not alone here, I'm sure I can't be the only person alive who eats more than they are supposed to, with all the wrong food choices. Here I sit now at around 75kg and back to eating like I was before - when I was 103kg. With no feelings attached to food, if its there I eat. I'm not really an emotional eater, I'm more like - see shit food, eat shit food, kind of eater. Go buy more shit food.
I hate the way I feel at the moment. I feel "fat". Because I've eaten fat, I feel FAT. I crave more fat because I've eaten fat. I feel gross and utterly disgusted in myself, so I eat more fat. The cycle continues. I've fooled around with different methods of losing weight (and of course have noted them all in previous blog entries, previous one to this one proves my point) and I think its because of fear of failure. If I give myself a reason to fail (diet too hard to stick to, takes too much time, too restrictive, too expensive) then its not MY fault surely, its the diet's fault - right?
I'm ending this shit, I really am. I'm sick of feeling like this. Sick of being on this constant fucking merry-go-round of "Weight Issues". Its not my weight thats the issue here, its the crap in my head. My low self esteem. My low self worth. My excuses.
Tonight we are saying good bye to the crap food, and tomorrow is going to be that brand new shining day. I'm not going to think about putting crap food into my body. I AM going to beat down this wall in my mind that says I can't be fit and healthy. It knows the past me, not the future me.
And if I never get to meet the "me" that I can be - I'll be stuck with the "me" that I don't like. Forever. And that's a long time.
First up - my excuses. Oh, I've heard myself come out with some great ones. I can't exercise because Elf Man is on prac. Well yes, its true that he leaves at 5.15am and he gets home when I get home from school pick up at 3.30pm. Yes its true that I don't really have time to exercise in the afternoon and evening because we go to bed earlier now. HOWEVER - I could get out there with the girls in the pram and go walking during the day, nothing stopping me except my excuses. Oh and then there is the excuse to eat crap food - I have my period. Weeeeee! That means I get to eat shit food right? Well no, no it doesn't. I didn't eat any crap for 5 months and I know that I had my period at least 5 times......
So I've been eating a LOT of crap. An awful lot. Yesterday I felt so sick in the guts, and I wouldn't (couldn't) even admit to Elf Man how much crap I managed to shove into my gob at my mum's house. Eating in secret is what I do best you see, I've perfected the art of people not knowing what you are grabbing to quickly eat, and excuses are easy to come by, oh I need a drink - better go inside... where are my sunnies?.. better go inside... (handful of food, handful of food...chew quickly...swallow but don't choke...)
Hopefully I'm not alone here, I'm sure I can't be the only person alive who eats more than they are supposed to, with all the wrong food choices. Here I sit now at around 75kg and back to eating like I was before - when I was 103kg. With no feelings attached to food, if its there I eat. I'm not really an emotional eater, I'm more like - see shit food, eat shit food, kind of eater. Go buy more shit food.
I hate the way I feel at the moment. I feel "fat". Because I've eaten fat, I feel FAT. I crave more fat because I've eaten fat. I feel gross and utterly disgusted in myself, so I eat more fat. The cycle continues. I've fooled around with different methods of losing weight (and of course have noted them all in previous blog entries, previous one to this one proves my point) and I think its because of fear of failure. If I give myself a reason to fail (diet too hard to stick to, takes too much time, too restrictive, too expensive) then its not MY fault surely, its the diet's fault - right?
I'm ending this shit, I really am. I'm sick of feeling like this. Sick of being on this constant fucking merry-go-round of "Weight Issues". Its not my weight thats the issue here, its the crap in my head. My low self esteem. My low self worth. My excuses.
Tonight we are saying good bye to the crap food, and tomorrow is going to be that brand new shining day. I'm not going to think about putting crap food into my body. I AM going to beat down this wall in my mind that says I can't be fit and healthy. It knows the past me, not the future me.
And if I never get to meet the "me" that I can be - I'll be stuck with the "me" that I don't like. Forever. And that's a long time.
Saturday 1 December 2012
31 Days of Clean
Ok so I've slacked off again - this weight loss stuff is hard! Its so easy to fall back into old habits and excuses. I had slacked off then found my mojo again, and then when I was preparing for a surprise trip to Tassie I sort of gave myself the excuse to just eat crap. No need to start a new diet plan because I didn't expect my friends to feed me that way you know. Didn't want to put them out because it was a surprise that I was coming. So I had already gotten slack and then when I was down there I indulged in some pretty terrific (yet calorie high) food.
SO! Now that I'm back, I've set myself a new challenge - 31 days of Clean. This is my clean eating plan for the whole of December (including Christmas yes!).
Today I woke up and instead of coffee with milk I had a herbal tea. I then made homemade Almond milk because every packaged one I found at Coles yesterday had added sugar, even the organic one which uses Agave Syrup, which has been proven to not be something that is considered clean. So I thought "fuck it" and made my own with a couple of dates to sweeten.
Then I made myself a poached egg on rye toast for breakfast. I got the idea from Ashy Bines on the rye bread, however, it has been noted on another blog that wholemeal bread is "clean" as well, so I think I will make my own wholemeal bread instead of buying rye.
Unfortunately dairy doesn't really agree with me, so I will drop milk but will still have yoghurt a few times a week (homemade yoghurt - no sugar). And of course, no pasta and rice etc. Most of my main meals are meat and vegies - with LOTS of broccoli.
I have a plan with different options for every meal and snacks, and I will stick to that. It still needs a bit of refining, there are a few different opinions out there on what exactly clean eating is, for example, Ashy Bines says her plan is a clean eating plan, however she has protein powder and bars, and if you read the guidelines on some blogs about what clean eating is - they don't fit into it. She also doesn't recommend milk - other blogs say milk is fine as long as its full fat, and others say its fine as long as its low fat. Confusing much?
Therefore, I've made my own Melcra Clean Eating Plan - everyone else is just too confusing for me, so I've taken bits and pieces from everything I have read and mixed it with stuff that I like and I know is good for me.
I weighed in this morning at 75.8kg. Shocking how easy it is to pack the weight back on. Almost too easy. I'm not weighing myself until January 1st either, just as an added challenge to myself from frequent weigh ins!
31 days - let's go!
SO! Now that I'm back, I've set myself a new challenge - 31 days of Clean. This is my clean eating plan for the whole of December (including Christmas yes!).
Today I woke up and instead of coffee with milk I had a herbal tea. I then made homemade Almond milk because every packaged one I found at Coles yesterday had added sugar, even the organic one which uses Agave Syrup, which has been proven to not be something that is considered clean. So I thought "fuck it" and made my own with a couple of dates to sweeten.
Then I made myself a poached egg on rye toast for breakfast. I got the idea from Ashy Bines on the rye bread, however, it has been noted on another blog that wholemeal bread is "clean" as well, so I think I will make my own wholemeal bread instead of buying rye.
Unfortunately dairy doesn't really agree with me, so I will drop milk but will still have yoghurt a few times a week (homemade yoghurt - no sugar). And of course, no pasta and rice etc. Most of my main meals are meat and vegies - with LOTS of broccoli.
I have a plan with different options for every meal and snacks, and I will stick to that. It still needs a bit of refining, there are a few different opinions out there on what exactly clean eating is, for example, Ashy Bines says her plan is a clean eating plan, however she has protein powder and bars, and if you read the guidelines on some blogs about what clean eating is - they don't fit into it. She also doesn't recommend milk - other blogs say milk is fine as long as its full fat, and others say its fine as long as its low fat. Confusing much?
Therefore, I've made my own Melcra Clean Eating Plan - everyone else is just too confusing for me, so I've taken bits and pieces from everything I have read and mixed it with stuff that I like and I know is good for me.
I weighed in this morning at 75.8kg. Shocking how easy it is to pack the weight back on. Almost too easy. I'm not weighing myself until January 1st either, just as an added challenge to myself from frequent weigh ins!
31 days - let's go!
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